Back in college, like many, I was a fan of crowded bars and packed dance floors.  You could pretty much determine where I would be each night by figuring out which bar would be rammed with people.

On a regular Saturday night out, I found myself in the center of the dance floor with a group of friends.  If you’ve ever danced on a crowded dance floor you’ve no doubt encountered the oblivious idiot who constantly bumps into you.  This person is too drunk to realize how aggravating it is to be nudged consistently…

I was that idiot on this night.

Without knowing it, I had been bumping a guy’s girlfriend causing high amounts of frustration.  At one point, I actually caused her to spill her drink.  Now, I’m not a jerk so I instantly pulled out some cash and bought both of them a drink.  It’s the right thing to do.  I think that’s what separates me from the losers who aren’t even apologetic when that happens.  Except 10 minutes later, I did it again and the guy was furious.

He grabbed me and I thought I was about to take a punch in the face but his opening move was…  Lame.  He tried to knee me in the groin but barely grazed me leg instead.  A ball shot? Really? The fact that he opted to kick me in the nuts instead of punching me in the face was infuriating.  Who opens with that move?  Sissies? If you’re going to fight then fight!  Right?

I pushed him away and instantly went nuts yelling at him for being a joke.  He screamed back at me and we exchanged curses.  I’m not a fighter nor am I remotely tough but when I realized that someone was holding me back I ramped up the aggression.  It’s easy to look tough when you’re being held back.  I was thankful that someone wrapped their arms around me and… ahem…  Saved that guy from an ass kicking.

Eventually, the bouncers arrived with smiles on their faces.  Were they laughing at me?  I couldn’t figure it why they were smiling but at that point, I just didn’t want to get kicked out of the bar.  There’s nothing worse then spending the night waiting for your friends on a sidewalk with a slice of pizza.  One of the bouncers approached me and I started planning how many slices I would be purchasing that night.

Don’t worry buddy, we saw everything.  It was a gutless move on his part.  We’re kicking him out but you can stay.

The bouncer snickered as I calmed down and they pushed the other guy and his girl out the door.  That’s when I realized that other people were laughing at me too.  So I turned around thinking I would find my friends who were holding me back…  But it wasn’t my friends.

It was one GIRL who was holding me back while I angrily threatened the ball buster.  To be fair, this girl was at least 6″2 and easily 200lbs…  She introduced herself but I was devastated.  I thought my power was so strong that it took 3-4 linebackers to hold me back…  So much for feeling tough…

Someday that scene will find it’s way into a screenplay if I can fit it in.  Ironically, I wrote a feature length script that was based on my time in college and I couldn’t find a place for it.  It’s unfortunate but you never want to force something in that doesn’t make the screenplay better.  It was a tough decision to let the scene go especially since I have to live with that moment forever…

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