THE FIRST PEOPLE TALE…
THE PRESSURE IS ON…
The number of possibilities for the first people tale was infinite. Funny? Sad? Frustrating? In the end, I decided to think back as far as I could and dig up an old memory. The first one that popped into my head is all about a lady who had no right to stick her nose in my business… Or did she?
I can’t fully remember how old I was but my best guess is eleven or twelve. My mom and sister had chiropractor appointments in our local mall and I was allowed to leave the doctor’s office to check out the toys at Stedman’s. For those who are unaware, Stedman’s is a department store that’s about one notch above a dollar store and far from the Walmarts we’ve grown accustomed to.
Kids around that age are normally obsessed with the latest ‘something’. Ninja Turtles dominated most of my childhood but there were other fads. At that moment, it was marbles. During recess at school we used to play two games with our alley collections. The first was called Potsies. Essentially, the goal was to try and roll your marble into a hole in the dirt before your opponent did. Whoever won kept both marbles. The second, and infinitely more competitive, was Kissies. In this game, the goal is to kiss your marble off a wall and hit your opponents. This took a lot of skill but the pressure was always high especially if you risked one of your favorite alleys.
Where did we purchase these alleys? Stedman’s. It was there we purchased our jumbos, mumbo-jumbos, pandas and more.
I left my family in the doctor’s office and went straight for the new alleys. I had no money but the idea was to carefully research the best bag of marbles in the store and then beg my mom to buy them for me. There weren’t many to choose from a lot of the time so I was forced to hide the bag I wanted somewhere else. Once it was hidden, I went back to start wearing my mother down.
You can imagine the panic in my eyes when I arrived at the doctors only to find my mom and sister were both called in. What if someone found my marbles!?
I went back and checked two or three times trying hard not to appear suspicious. Unfortunately I wasn’t very good at it. I started noticing an older lady pacing around me. She was following every move I made. Naturally, I got freaked out and abandoned my plan. I carefully made my way towards the front of the store and just when I thought I was free, there she was.
What a humiliating moment. To be accused of shoplifting right in front of the cash.
“I know what you’re up to young man!”
This lady could have taken it easy on me but she didn’t. She took it upon herself to scare the hell out of me by screaming. I was filled with two completely separate feelings. The first was overwhelming embarrassment and the second was anger. I hadn’t stolen a thing. What was she trying to prove? She wasn’t my mom! She even made me take my hat off. How in the world can you hide a sack of marbles under a baseball cap?
Satisfied that I didn’t steal anything, she let me go with one final threat.
“Don’t let me catch you in here again.”
I lowered my head and made my way back to the doctors office just as my mom and sister emerged from their adjustments. What’s the first thing my mom said to me?
“I have to go to Stedman’s before we leave.”
You know the horrible pain in your stomach you feel when you are dreading something unavoidable. I was terrified. I tried everything I could to hide as we entered the store but the evil lady found me. She immediately cornered us and told my mom the whole story of my shoplifting scheme. Let me make something clear, I’ve never stolen a thing in my life and never had any intentions of stealing anything but this lady was angry. She told my mom I wasn’t welcome in the store anymore.
What happened next is the reason why I’ve always been honest with my parents. They’ve always had my back.
My mom had that motherly “we’ll see about that” look on her face as she demanded to speak with the manager. I was so embarrassed and it didn’t help that my sister kept laughing at me. With everything straightened out we left the store with my ban lifted.
I never did get those new marbles. I never went back to Stedman’s alone again.
Years later, I based a cashier in a screenplay on that horrible woman. It was a small role but I nailed it. Now that I’m an adult, I really can’t blame her for being suspicious. What fascinated me was how angry she was. She could have reacted any number of ways but she went with intimidation. I’ve always wondered why…