After years of hype, The Avengers was finally unleashed upon the world and it was glorious.  Personally, I was devastated that I couldn’t see it opening day.  I had to wait 24 extra hours because my shift start time didn’t work mathematically with any showtimes nearby.

Still, when you’re going to see a giant blockbuster it helps to have a plan in place.  My plan was to complete a few errands at the nearest mall and catch a show at noon the following day.  I arrived 30 minutes before show time and wasn’t surprised when I entered a packed theater.  I found a decent seat regardless and eagerly waited for the lights to dim.

As that time inched closer, theater employees began asking people to move in order to accommodate people who arrived at the last minute.  I agree with this approach.  It’s always awkward to ask people to move so why not have someone else ask politely for you?  The movie hasn’t started yet and no one likes to sit in the useless front rows.

Having said that, if you show up once the trailers begin you’re out of luck.  If you can’t find an empty seat then you should have shown up earlier or caught a later show.  It always amazes me how people can wander in late to a new release and be stunned that ‘prime’ seats aren’t available for them.

Before I continue, there are people who are victims of circumstance and have no choice but to show up late.  They deserve to see the movie too.  But these poor souls accept their fate and sit in the front.  They don’t stare like they have night vision goggles hoping to strike gold in the center of the theater.

That’s what bothers me about the people who show up late on purpose expecting amazing seats.  They expect people to move.  Furthermore, even if there were empty seats, isn’t it a little rude to ask people to stand up when the movie has begun?

In my screening of The Avengers, a couple arrived just as the final trailer ran and the movie was about to begin.  They spent at least 2 minutes slowly ascending the stairs looking for seats and staring at people.  The stopped about 4 rows in front of me.  There were 2 scattered seats about 8 chairs a part.

I felt awful for the people in that row.  This couple asked everyone to pick up their stuff and move so they could sit down.  This should be off limits!  Once the movie starts, people have settled in with their custom snack configurations.  They’ve made peace with the people around them and chosen their desired recline level.  They are comfortable.

I suppose I have to give them credit for agreeing but they were well within their right to say no right?  Like I said, until the movie begins I think everyone has a right to find a good seat.  Movies aren’t cheap anymore after all.  But allow me to illustrate my point further.  This was NOT a sold out show.  There was plenty of room in no man’s land up front where people’s necks take a beating.

You show up late and the front is your fate. (I did not intend for that to rhyme.)

I was baffled.  When I review movies over at The Athletic Nerd, I talk about the movie experience.  The people in front of me who had to move lost the first few minutes of the film settling into new seats because of 2 people.  A couple who couldn’t be bothered to show up on time and then had the nerve to assume they were better than those people.

They belong in the same class as those who believe their cell phone isn’t THAT bright or that no one can REALLY hear them talking…  Stop it.

…  I feel very strongly about this.

Roomates, Door Locks and…  Ambulances?

When I first moved to Toronto, I lived with one of my closest friends.  We didn’t see each other much as my shifts normally ended around 1 am or later.  As with any new living situation, it took a while to get into a routine.  You have to get used to good and bad habits…

For example, until one specific night, I had no idea that my roommate was a deep sleeper.  Nothing wakes him up and unfortunately, I learned that the hard way.

The night in question was one of the longest nights of my life.  I generally didn’t complain much about my daily commute on the TTC  but if I missed the final bus I was screwed.  Having a 20 minute walk to look forward to in the middle of the night after a 12 hour shift is awful.  So you can imagine my frustration when I emerged from the subway tunnel just as the last bus pulled out of the station.

All I could think about as I walked home was my post shift snack.  I just wanted to heat up a couple pizza pockets and put on a good movie.  Sadly, it was not meant to be on this night.

When I opened my door I got an unwelcome surprise.  The chain was locked.  Remember, I didn’t realize he was a deep sleeper so I wasn’t concerned at first.  I knocked and waited but nothing happened.  I knocked again.  Nothing.

At this point, it became clear that my knocking couldn’t continue forever as we were in an apartment and it was 2 am.  So I took out my phone and called him but there was no answer.  I called our home phone without success.  I knocked again.  Nothing.

I just wanted to eat and go to bed!?

My last resort was outside.  We were on the ground floor so I went around the building to knock directly on his window.  But when I knocked, he didn’t make a sound.  Frustration set in.  Was I going to have to break into my own apartment?

I moved to the bathroom window thinking I could probably pry it open and tumble into the bathtub.  It’s not like I had to worry about waking him up.  I couldn’t get it open.

I tried to call him again to no avail.  In a fit of rage, I pounded on the bathroom window and something unexpected occurred.  He made a sound.  It sounded like he yelled ‘Cut it out’.  Would indirect noise wake him up?

I started knocking on the window harder.  Suddenly, my hand crashed right through it!  The window shattered leaving tiny cuts on my fist.  That was the last straw.  I couldn’t even tumble into the bathtub with that much broken glass waiting for me below.

The only option I had left was to wake up my friend a few blocks away and sleep on her couch.  More…  Walking.

I jogged home a few hours later.  He usually woke up around 8 am for work so I knew I could knock and get inside MY OWN HOME.  When I got there I knocked believing the ordeal was finally over.

Except it wasn’t!

The door was still chained and no amount of knocking resolved the situation.  That’s when my concern shifted to his well being.  Was he all right in there?  I knew I heard him a few hours earlier and figured he was talking in his sleep.  But I no longer wanted to risk it.

I called 911.

With an ambulance on route I called my sister to explain that authorities were about to find my roommate unconscious.  Literally one minute later, he emerged from the apartment with a perplexed look on his face.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” he said.

“I thought you were dead you jerk!”

That’s when I remembered the ambulance that was on the way.  I quickly called 911 again to cancel it.

It turns out, he had gone to a party and was too drunk to realize what was going on.  When you mix alcohol with a deep sleeper you can throw a medicine ball at their face and they won’t wake up.

I rushed passed him and went straight to bed.  I was too tired for a pizza pocket.

How many characters can you introduce early in your story before things get confusing?

The Athletic Nerd looks at character introductions, the first 10 pages and more.

INTRODUCING TOO MANY CHARACTERS TOO QUICKLY

When I first moved to Toronto, the studio where I worked required at least an hour to get to.  I would leave my apartment and wait for a bus that ALWAYS took forever to show up.

Side Note: Isn’t it mathematically impossible to wait 30 minutes for a bus that’s scheduled to arrive every 15 minutes? I digress…

The bus would take me to the nearest subway station. 9 stops later, I would exit the subway and immediately board a train.  The train ride was usually about 15 minutes and I would eventually arrive at another bus station.  From there it was one final bus followed by a 10 minute walk…

I love my new 25 minute commute by the way.

On this particular day, I was running behind because of that stupid late bus.  When I got to the subway station I was practically sprinting until I saw a group of women approaching the door.  I did the gentlemenly thing and held the door for them.  Immediately, I was annoyed because they spread out walking down the stairs to the trains.  There was no way to get around them.  Single file ladies!  Single file!  I start panicking when I heard the faint roar of an incoming train.  I asked one of the women to move and sprinted 2 steps at a time down the stairs.

Many people who ride subway trains will agree that when a train approaches, it turns the entire terminal into a wind tunnel.  This instance was no different.  The wind picked up a plastic grocery bag and it started spiraling around at the base of the stairs.  This bag was out to get me.  No matter which way I veered, it seemed to adjust it’s course.  It was inevitable.

The bag wrapped itself around my face like an octapus.  I was horrified.  Who knows what was in that bag!  I ripped it off immediately.

“Gross!”

It didn’t help that the girls behind me on the stairs were laughing at me.  Honestly, who gets hit in the face by a flying plastic bag?  To this day I’m thankful it wasn’t wet.  Can you imagine if there was some remnants of a leaky orange juice container that mixed with ketchup and gravy…  Or grease? That would have scarred me for life.

I write about this tale to bring up the idea of laughing at someone’s misfortunes in public.  Are you the type of person who can laugh out loud at someone or can you keep control to spare them the added embarassment?

Writers: Would your character laugh at someone or hold back and talk about it later with friends?

Long ago, when I was in university, I had to park extremely far away from the school.  In order to save time, I would leap over the guard rails.  One cold winter day, my foot got caught and I faceplanted into a snow bank.  It’s exactly what you’re picturing.  I stood up with a face full of dirty snow.  Again, there were girls laughing at me nearby.  One of them flat out apologized for laughing.

“It’s okay” I said. “I’d be laughing too.”

It’s true.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no right to laugh at anybody else.  I’m guilty of it.  If I saw someone get smacked in the face by a random plastic bag I wouldn’t be able to contain myself.

Having said that, there are instances when it’s inappropriate to laugh…  But I suppose that’s another tale.

WHEN IS IT TIME?

Picture this…  You’re listening to music while you wait for a bus when someone approaches you to ask for directions.  You stop your music and oblige but it quickly becomes clear that they wish to start up a conversation.  Fair enough.  Many people enjoy conversing with strangers.  You never know who you will meet.

But what happens when you aren’t in the mood to talk.  You contribute little and hope for an awkward silence long enough to unpause your music.  But how long should you wait?  You know the second you restart your music the person will hear it and realize you no longer wish to speak to them.  It’s a social signal that the conversation is over.  You don’t want to be rude do you?

…  Do you?

How about another scenario involving friends.  You’re at work and it’s the end of the day.  You’ve finally found time to click the link to that hilarious YouTube video your friend emailed you.  The second you hit play a coworker virtually appears in your cubicle and hovers over your shoulder.  Even though you respect and like this person, he/she is seemingly oblivious that you’re occupied and chats you up regardless.  After a few moments it becomes clear that you won’t be able to focus on the video so you pause it.

This is your coworker after all so you chat and hear them out.  It’s the end of the day so this person usually complains about a client, the boss or the social challenges that await after 5pm.  Finally, the conversation ends but this person doesn’t leave.  At which point do you unpause your video? How much time must pass?

I suppose the quick fix is to invite them to watch it with you but let’s face it, they’ve seen it already.

Yet another, more personal, scenario.  After hours of hard work, you’re finally going to reach level 32.  The sweaty Xbox controller rests in your hands.  It’s time to finally solve that impossible puzzle or beat a tough boss.  Except your girlfriend enters the room and her beautiful smile forces…  The Pause.

It doesn’t matter what gender you are.  If your significant other enters the room you have to pause your game.  It’s in the guidebook.  You do everything possible to hide the fact that all you want to do is unpause your game and finish the mission.  The achievement or trophy is within your grasp.  Pausing the game too long takes you out of the zone.  Your character could die.  The lives of the fictional characters you are tasked to save are in jeopardy!

In your mind you scream:

“Hurry up and get to the point!”

But your expression says:

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

Finally, the conversation ends but this encounter comes with a twist nearly 100% of the time.  You unpause your game and for 10 seconds you advance…  Until the conversation begins again…  Pause.

“Look at the TV!  You’re doing this on purpose!”

That’s what you’d like to say but you can’t.  It isn’t fair and it’s rude to choose a video game over that special someone.  So you listen, you contribute and your relationship grows…

Then silence returns to the room.  He/She picks up a magazine and reads.

Is it time to unpause?